Thursday, September 8, 2011


Warning: I'm about to go on a tangent.

This morning, while eating my cheerios, I opened Yahoo! to see what was going on in the world. One of the stories featured was this one:

Take a second. Soak it in.

Upon clicking on this story, I had to put my cheerios down. I felt physically ill. I just...I don't understand it. I don't understand how we've done this to our daughters, to our sisters, to our ourselves. How did this beautiful 17-year-old girl come to believe that she wasn't good enough the way she was? That becoming gauntly thin and altering her face would somehow make her better? Honestly, I think she barely looks alive.

This makes me so sad. And, frankly, it scares me. I'm scared to someday bring a daughter into a world that makes woman feel this way. Like they have to be waif thin and change their hair color, body, FACE, to get society's "BEAUTIFUL" stamp.

We all have days (or weeks or months...) when we struggle with our own self-image. I certainly battle it...and often. And I can honestly say that most of my insecurities come from comparing myself to other women. Women in advertising, on TV, even my peers. We are constantly told what we "should" look like. If you wear a size bigger than this, you should lose weight. If you don't have hair like this, then you should cut/color it. If you don't have boobs that look like this or a nose that looks like that, then you should alter them surgically. And if you don't have the money to do those things, then you just won't be "beautiful".

What ever happened to individuality?! Since when do we all have to look the same to be beautiful?! That is so much pressure to put on an adult - let alone a teenager!

Ali Lohan, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry that no one made you see that you were perfect, just the way you were. And the Denton Women's Collective and I are going to work hard to help other girls realize the beauty they each posses. Because this? This can't keep happening. My soul can't take it.


  1. I completely agree with your Rach!!! That is so sad! I do have a daughter and to think that she may have self image issues when she is older breaks my heart! I pray that she never goes through that to such an extent that she would want to alter the way she looks or feel bad about herself! And Ali Lohan looks evil or possessed...she looked WAY better before!! Just heart breaking as you said before!

  2. Just as I said on your DWC post....YOU INSPIRE ME, PLEASE DON'T STOP. Keep the fire burning strong because we WILL make a difference! I LOVE YOU!

  3. Well said sister! I saw that this morning too and just about spit Americano all over my laptop! Great great great blog my lady!

  4. wow, i hadn't seen that photo of ali lohan yet. absolutely scary. poor girl. it just makes me sick. i take pride in making sure my sweet girls know that they are daughters of god and that they are loved and are beautiful inside and out. it scares me to think that they will someday be more influenced by the world. can't they just stay my babies forever?!

  5. Honestly, I don't see much different with her face ... I see that her eyebrows have grown out and filled in with a pencil, she's stopped tanning, and her bottom lip looks a little bee-stung.

    However, she's obviously significantly more gaunt (which could be why people think she's had plastic surgery, since that can cause your face to look drastically different.) Unfortunately, in the fashion world, (unless you're modeling "plus size" clothing - ugh) you're modeling size 0 samples. That's not because the designer thinks that's the ideal size; it's because that's what's least expensive for the designers to create. Since those size 0 women are the ones modeling the clothing, though, that's what we see and are made to think is the right way to look. That's why perfectly beautiful women are airbrushed, and why young girls are so confused about what beauty really is.

    Having been a "scary" skinny girl a couple of times in my life, I have to say that people can be equally as cruel to you when you're skinny as when you're overweight. (Of course, it doesn't help that I'm so pale I'm see-through.) Some people automatically assumed anorexia in my case, which was hurtful in itself. You can't escape the judgement of others. You just have to learn to love yourself and where your body is in that moment, and strive to be healthy, rather than appear a certain way to other people. Whose opinions and cruel remarks, by the way, don't matter one bit.

    You have such a big heart, Rachel! Thanks for speaking up about the issues that are really important.