When you get married, people love to give you advice. I was totally cool with that – in fact I was quite open to it. I loved to hear the insights people had, no matter how long they’d been married. We were told to be silly together, we were told that the first year would be the hardest (that was NOT the case for us), we were told never to go to bed angry, and that sometimes it’s okay to go to bed angry because you’ll wake up with a different outlook - just to name a few. I took all those tidbits in and stored them away, pulling them out when necessary. But, as we settled into our married status, I found there was a LOT that no one tells you.
No one tells you how personally you will take it when your spouse has a bad day and unintentionally takes it out on you. No one tells you that when your alarm is set for 6am, your husband will roll onto his back and snore like a lumberjack at 5:45. No one tells you that sometimes you will feel like you are on different planets when you are discussing current events, or money, or overall outlooks on things. And no one tells you that when your spouse isn’t happy, finding your own happiness becomes increasingly difficult.
However, you know what else no one tells you? No one tells you that you’ll be so madly, deeply in love that you count the minutes until you get to go home and be in the same room. That even though he snores (and let’s face it, sometimes you do too), your favorite thing is waking up in the middle of the night and reaching out to feel your husband next to you. No one tells you that sometimes you’ll look over at your spouse and be so overtaken with love that it actually makes you cry. That you’ll develop little rituals that feels like “home”. Or that you’ll feel the most “yourself” in the moments when you are just sitting together, talking or listening to music or watching a favorite TV show.
And while sometimes I wish someone had told me that sometimes marriage is SO hard, I am so glad that no one really told me exactly how amazing it is, too. Because the BEST part of marriage is discovering that all on your own.