...of the rest of my life. Today, I started Weight Watchers. I will probably blog about this weight loss process quite a bit. Even if no one reads it, it helps me to get my thoughts, feeling, struggles out there.
I think starting out, the biggest challenge for me will be hunger. Everyone has warned me that that first week is the hardest. While my body adjusts to eating so much differently than I have been, I'm going to be hungry. A lot. But that by next week it will get easier.
This has been a long time coming. I was skinny most of my life. In middle school I was TOO skinny. All through high school I was the right amount of skinny. College years...it slowly started to slide. I wasn't over-weight. Just a bit curvier but comfortable with my body. 2006 was when it all went downhill. When Ryan & I got back together, we ate. A lot. He is such an amazing cook, we ate the most fattening stuff. I gained a lot. Then when we got engaged I lost 25 lbs before the wedding. I felt so much better. He lost even more than that. Well, we both fell back into bad habits. I called it "the honeymoon phase". We ate out a lot, and ate in but not healthy. A few weeks ago I stood in front of the mirror [naked] and all the sudden I was starring at this fat person. In my head I was freaking out; "OMG. I'm fat. OMG." I knew that was the end. I waited until today to start for several reasons. We were moving and eating like crap out of convenience. Also, I am one of those people who really loves the "bad for you" stuff. I wanted to give myself one last chance to really indulge in all my cravings. So, totally mentally prepared, I started today.
I ate 1/2 a grapefruit, 1/2 an English muffin and coffee at 6:30am. At 8:30am I ate the other 1/2 of the grapefruit and 1 tbsp of peanut butter. It's 9:30am and I am starving. I'm trying to wait until 10am to eat my yogurt. [Sigh.]