Ouch.
That sucked.
Hearing those words, I realized that my negative body image has become SO apparent and that it just unacceptable. And then I found this:
Wow.
I am overwhelmed with emotion as I type this. Realizing the mistakes that I've made in my constant struggle with my weight...I think it's the reason I continue to be unsuccessful in permanent weight loss.
My soul needs to be in tune with my body.
I have to stop trying to lose weight because of vanity. This choice, this need, this desire to lose weight can't be solely based on changing the way I look. It has to become about the way I feel. My health. It's time for me to finally embrace the curves that God gave me. I'm never going to have a "small" chest or straight hips. So why do I let myself dwell on those things? What good does that do? Those curves are part of who I am, so being mad at them is only going to hinder my progress.
I have a new attitude today. I'm going to try harder to love and appreciate my body as it is while working towards a healthier life...if that means a thinner life, then that's great, but my focus can no longer be on what I hate about my body. It has to be on taking CARE of my body...loving my body. Then, maybe soul and body will be one.
I so understand where you are coming from! Good for you Rach!!! You are gorgeous!! and small chest and hips and bellies are for the birds! LOL:) Love you blog!! Always positive and inspirational!!! you and ryan are just too sweet!!!
ReplyDeletei love and support you in this, rachel! what i respect MOST is your willingness to make public a very honest and raw perspective.
ReplyDeletei can tell you one thing, though i hesitated typing before typing, because i'm not quite as brave as you.
last night. LAST NIGHT. when i was by myself, naked, in front of my mirror after the shower, i started looking at parts of my body i hate. i'm telling you this, because i don't want you to feel alone, and i don't want you to feel like even if you lost all the weight you could want to lose, the problem would go away. the problem is in our heads. it's beyond crazy that i felt fat even as a size zero when i was living in pi phi. beyond crazy! but it shows that even numbers and scales and sizes won't give us the comfort that we can only get from ourselves.
i love the image you uploaded here and on the DWC site. it's so true, and so beautiful. i hope that we can continue to help eachother with the ridiculous standards we place upon ourselves. we need to snap out of it, and i'll be there for you, like i know you'll be there for me.
all my love!
Thank you both for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteAnd Lindsay, it means so much that you shared this with me...and you're right. We DO need to snap out of it - and with the love and support from each other, DWC and our many friends and loved ones, I know that we can.