Lately, I've been pretty down on myself. Mainly, my body image. Even though I am part of this amazing Denton Women's Collective that is all about building women UP, I can't help but still compare myself to everyone else and feel discouraged as my weight fluctuates. It's gotten to a point where even Ryan has taken serious notice. Yesterday, he said "I love you, even though you don't love yourself."
Hearing those words, I realized that my negative body image has become SO apparent and that it just unacceptable. And then I found this:
I am overwhelmed with emotion as I type this. Realizing the mistakes that I've made in my constant struggle with my weight...I think it's the reason I continue to be unsuccessful in permanent weight loss.
My soul needs to be in tune with my body.
I have to stop trying to lose weight because of vanity. This choice, this need, this desire to lose weight can't be solely based on changing the way I look. It has to become about the way I feel. My health. It's time for me to finally embrace the curves that God gave me. I'm never going to have a "small" chest or straight hips. So why do I let myself dwell on those things? What good does that do? Those curves are part of who I am, so being mad at them is only going to hinder my progress.
I have a new attitude today. I'm going to try harder to love and appreciate my body as it is while working towards a healthier life...if that means a thinner life, then that's great, but my focus can no longer be on what I hate about my body. It has to be on taking CARE of my body...loving my body. Then, maybe soul and body will be one.