Silver

"Silver" is a word that was introduced into my vocabulary at a very young age. Mostly because my maiden name contains the word. But, there were other reasons as well.

The (second) biggest reason I knew this word, this color, so well was because I recognized it on my father's head. I don't really have memory of my father without silver hair. When I was very young, he was salt & pepper but with each passing year it was much more salt than pepper. For the majority of my life, I knew I had 'my Dad's hair'. People would tell me how lucky I was when they would discuss my thick, naturally curly hair. Well, not a week after my 18th birthday, I got another taste of 'my Dad's hair' when I found my first. gray. hair. I plucked that sucker out and marched right up to him.

I waved the strand in his face and yelled, "DO YOU SEE THIS?!"

And then, he laughed at me. LAUGHED!

Looking back, I think he was laughing because he knew what the next 10 years would hold for me. Lots more where that came from. By 25, I had a noticeable amount of gray and could no longer pluck them out. So, instead, I started to color it.

Now, my hairdresser assured me years ago that my hair is not gray. She insists that gray is flat and dull. My hair is turning silver. And just over three years since the first time I colored it, I have stopped. (Which doesn't mean I won't ever again.)

My Dad says I look sad in this picture, I assure you I am not.

A lot of people ask me why I don't color it anymore, and it's a funny thing really. A NEW thing for me. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, I decided it doesn't make my hair less pretty. Or make me look old. Or is something I should feel ashamed or embarrassed by. Quite the opposite. It's a part of me. And more importantly, its a part of my Dad, of my Gram, that I get to keep forever.

So, this morning, as I was fixing my hair, I snapped a picture. The 'silver' isn't faithful to the front of my hair anymore. It's started to sprout all over. See?

And I smiled. Because I kind of love my silver hair.

To My Younger Self

Last week, Mandy posted a letter to her younger self and it reminded me that I had done the same several months ago...but never did anything with it! After all the time we spent on Finding Kind, it seemed and appropriate time to make this letter public.

It was tough to write; revisiting the things that I've been through since I was a teenager. But then it was joyful, because those things totally shaped who I am today. I highly encourage you to do the same. It was extremely therapeutic.

Me, at 16 and 17.

Dear Teenage Rachel,
You know more than you think you do, if you’d just listen to yourself every once in a while. Music will never stop being important to you so don’t walk away from it…even when you really, really want to. Take advantage of your slim figure while you have it…because you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to get it back. You don’t need a credit card at 18 - You’ll regret it later. Listen to your friends and family when they tell you a boy is no good for you. They see things you don’t. You’ll waste too many years and tears. Money matters little in the grand scheme. Please remember that. You will be so rich in love and friendship, which will be so much more important than any dollar. You also need to remember how strong you are. You will experience a great deal of loss. You will lose a best friend to tragedy, and while it might never stop hurting, it will make you appreciate your life so much more. You will have your heart broken - more than once - and one of your broken hearts will be at the hand of the one person who was never supposed to do that. But, he will and you will survive it. You will also HEAL a broken heart, and you will fall in love with that heart. You’ll marry him, too, so don’t worry so much about your happily ever after. You’ll change a lot in your twenties, and you’ll be so glad you did, so let it happen naturally and don’t try so hard to grow up. Once it happens, you can’t go back. And most importantly, don’t ever, ever forget to love yourself and be true to WHO YOU ARE…’cause you’ll be great.

Love, 28-year-old Rachel

We Found Kind

I'm struggling to even find the right way to start this post...every time I start to write, I find my mind going faster than my fingers can keep up. ::Deep breath::

This week has been monumental.

Remember in September when I first talked about Finding Kind? After months of hard work, planning and meeting we, the Denton Women's Collective, teamed up with Flower Mound High School to present this amazing documentary to the female masses.

Promo poster hung in the hallway at FMHS - Photo credit: Lindsay Van Meter

It is no exaggeration when I tell you - my life changed this week. After two screenings, we got to share this film and its amazing message with roughly 1200 women and girls. My eyes are filling with tears as I type that incredible number. And being able to do all of this at my high school alma mater?! Words cannot even express how I felt. Seeing these girls who are walking the same halls I walked, being impacted by the Kind Campaign movement leaves me with a feeling I've only experience a handful of times in my life.

November 30th, we shared the message with 550 girls and women - Photo credit: Lindsay Van Meter

December 1st, we shared the message with 650 girls and women - Photo credit: Lindsay Van Meter

After the film, we held an open forum-type discussion. We were all so floored by the willingness of these amazing girls (and women) to stand up with a microphone and share personal stories, things they'd witnessed and ideas they had for changing the harshness of "girl world". During the post-film discussions, we asked them fill out a Kind Pledge card and an Apology card to pledge how they would become more kind and to apologize to someone they may have been unkind to at some point, respectively.

The Kind Wall, covered with Kind pledges, a sight that brought me to tears - Photo credit: Lindsay Van Meter

SO many people deserve thanks and credit for making this amazing event possible. First and foremost, to Lauren and Molly, the film's creators, for shedding light on this growing problem. And more locally, to one of my best friends since the 4th grade and fellow founding member of DWC, Brittany Sassaman, for spearheading this entire movement. Thanks to the other members of DWC for volunteering your time and being as excited and passionate about this as we were. And last, but most certainly NOT LEAST, to the counselors, administrators and PTSA members at Flower Mound High School for doing so much to make this dream of ours a reality. I can say without hesitation that this would have been impossible without their help.

I will leave you now with my favorite quote from the movie. "We may not all be beautiful. We may not all be smart. We may not all be talented. But we can ALL BE KIND."

If you would like to know more about the Denton Women's Collective or the Finding Kind movement, please click on the names above, or contact me via comments.

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was particularly special.

It was the first time Ryan & I have ever hosted.

...And if I do say so myself, it was a success!

I watched the Macy's Parade as I put together a center piece and set the table with special napkins for the holiday.

The meal was split between my family. We (okay, mostly Ryan) did two turkeys - smoked and oven roasted. My Mom made cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce and apple pie. Frankie made loaded mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I made homemade mac & cheese, pumpkin pie and pumpkin roll. Ryan also made Yankee style stuffing, gravy and a brandy-butter sauce for the apple pie.

And we watched lots of football...not usually my thing but it just feels right on Thanksgiving.


The next day, we packed up the left overs and celebrated again with Ryan's family then came home, curled up in our sweats and watched the entire first season of The Wonder Years while working on Christmas cards.

It was a beautiful holiday that left my heart, and tummy, full and happy.

Playing Catch-Up

Hi. I'm Rachel. You may remember me as the girl who used to blog here.

Let's play catch-up, shall we? It's been a busy month. Here are the highlights...

One of my best friends, Kim, got married!!! It was such an honor being a bridesmaid and getting to share that special day with her & Jason!!

(I don't know who took these pics. I jacked them from her Facebook. 'Cause that's how I roll.)

We went to a really cool event at F.I.G. in Dallas for Windows Phone. It was a fun night (though I am 100% loyal to my iPhone) of free foods, drinks, pictures in Angry Bird costumes and most importantly - an amazing set from Young The Giant, one of my favorite bands!

Ryan met Ben & Jerry. Yes, THE Ben & Jerry. And yes, my husband is quite tall.

I also burst a blood vessel in my eye somehow. I'm not 100% sure how it happened, but after spending far too much time googling and on Web MD, I'm thinking its from stress/lack of sleep, possibly allergies. Luckily, its healed now, but for a few days there I was getting some strange looks and lots of people asking me what happened. How attractive...

Now, it's the week of Thanksgiving and I am so ready! We are having our annual Thanksgiving feast at work today, then I get to spend four glorious days off with my husband and family!

The Durability Anniversary

Tomorrow is Ryan & my third wedding anniversary. It's called The Durability Anniversary because it is often when a couple is aware of the durability of their relationship. (Settle in...this one deserves the long version.)

Since our actual anniversary is on a Tuesday, we decided ahead of time to celebrate on Saturday night. Ryan took the planning reigns. At first, he wouldn't tell me much. Just that I'd need a dress. Well, I love surprises as much as the next gal, but sometimes, we need details. What KIND of dress? Would a sundress be appropriate, or should it be more formal? Would we be inside or outside? Would I need a sweater? What kind of shoes would I need? As I overwhelmed Ryan with questions, he quickly realized he was better off just telling me the plan.

He was taking me to The Old Warsaw. A little background, this restaurant has always been "in" my life. My Gram and Gramp (Dad's parents) used to eat there. They took my parents from time to time...including when my Mom was pregnant with me. My parents went there occasionally when we were kids. And then, they took Frankie and I one year for my Mom's birthday. There is just some special about that place. I suppose I romanticize it to a degree, because it does hold some history in my life, but every time we would be in Dallas and see the billboard for The Old Warsaw, I'd talk about it. Ryan's a smart man. He listens when I talk. (Most of the time.)

We also decided to not exchange gifts this year. Our fancy night out was gift enough. Well...that and the new dress I bought myself, and the new shirt and tie Ryan bought himself.

I asked Ryan what color he'd like to see me in. He basically just said "No more black dresses". (All I own are black dresses it seems.) We discussed it further and settled on red. I found The One and hid it away in closest so he wouldn't see it until our date.

Ryan asked me what I'd like to see him in. I told him I had a weakness for tall, dark and handsome men in lavender. AKA, my husband in lavender. He bought a gorgeous lavender checkered shirt and a dark gray tie.

I started my date prep in the early afternoon on Saturday. I wanted to look 'perfect'.

The making of my anniversary look.

Fancy nails, curled hair, "sultry" makeup, The Red Dress.

When I was completely put together, lipstick and all, Ryan graciously posed for a few (several) pictures.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I was already filled with memories of my first visit there. I was so excited that I actually had butterflies! We were seated and immediately I was overwhelmed by the ambiance. It is such a beautiful, classy, romantic place. We ordered our 4 course meals, and soon the Maitre’D approached our table carrying a vase with 3 pink roses. I must have looked confused because Ryan leaned over and whispered "open the card".

Y'all. Ryan had flowers delivered TO. THE. RESTAURANT. The card expressed his love, and explained that the 3 roses signified the same sentiment as my engagement ring does. The Past, Present and Future. And for our 3 years of marriage. I was floored, and so touched.

Soon our food arrived. I so wish cameras were acceptable in white tablecloth settings. This food looked as amazing as it tasted. I had a Creme Brie and Mushroom soup as my first course, followed by their famous Cesar Salad. My entree was Grilled Prime Filet stuffed with Lump Crab meat in a Madeira and Béarnaise sauce, with Whipped Garlic Potatoes and Sauteed French Green Beans. For dessert, the most amazing Chocolate Souffle I've ever had. (I can't remember all of Ryan's courses. I was too wrapped up in mine!) After dessert, we sipped our wine and listened to the gentle music provided by a pianist and violinist. Then, our waiter emerged with a single rose and a slice of Pecan Pie decorated with a single candle. He was followed by the violinist. The violinist serendaded us and wished us a happy anniversary as we "managed" to eat yet another dessert. (MORE dessert?! Oh, you twisted my arm, good sir.) In that moment, it just suddenly hit me, just how lucky I am. Ryan really pulled out all the stops...and sometimes I wonder if I deserve him. I sat, fighting (happy) tears, in that moment.

The whole ride home I was on, a very full, cloud 9. I was still smiling ear to ear as Ryan popped the cork of my favorite champange and filled our toasting flutes. (They were a wedding gift from Ryan's parents. We used them on our wedding day and every anniversary since.) Then we settled in for our other anniversary routine...watching our wedding video.

Durability indeed. After three years, I don't think I've ever loved my husband as much as I do now.

Adventures in Beauty - Braids

I. Love. Braids.

I always have. If my hair was long enough to braid (it usually was, except for ages 7 & 8), chances are, I wanted a braid in it. My American Girl doll, Molly, came with braids...though I later took them out to practice OTHER braids on. For my 11th or 12th birthday, my cousin gave me a book of 50 braids and how to do them. I wore braids when braids weren't cool anymore. (Ask Ryan.)

So, how thrilled am I that they are now trendy and fashionable?! I get to pull out all my old braids from my arsenal and wear them with PRIDE! And I've learned some new ones too. Like this one...the "one sided" braid.

I saw this braid on Lauren Conrad's blog and tried it that very day. It is SO easy and SO cute. You'll see me rockin' this one often.