A Long Overdue Follow Up

Recently, I have had a few people ask how Ryan is doing in his Battle with Testosterone. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read Parts One and Two before jumping into Part Three below.

We last left off with the update in September...and a lot has happened since then. After my last post, Ryan's moods had leveled off, but he never quite made it back to 100%. I had just accepted that this was his new 100%. But as we entered December, Ryan's very favorite time of year and generally his happiest, I noticed that some of the symptoms of Low T were coming back. Explosions of emotion - both anger and depression, high anxiety, lack of motivation and overall disinterest were all rearing their ugly heads again. And I was not having it. I knew that waiting too long to take action could be catastrophic. I refused to let my husband slide back to his lowest.

So, after Christmas, we contacted his doctor, had blood work done and went for a follow up. The specialist said that Ryan had dropped back down to the 500's. The pellets that should have lasted him six months, he had burned through in three. The doctor determined that Ryan's body basically attacks itself when he is under stress, which causes his testosterone to drop, which causes him to feel worse, which causes more stress. It was the epitome of a vicious cycle.

One of the biggest things for Ryan is to keep stress and anxiety as low as possible, so we have made some pretty huge changes to help him achieve that. He was given another pellet injection treatment, but it was also determined that putting him on an additional medication to help him manage his stress and anxiety was necessary. And as I type this blog, I can honestly say that Ryan is doing the best he has in YEARS. I feel like I'm going to jinx us here but I would venture to say that with the continued pellet treatments and meds, he is back to 100% himself!

He is back to being energetic, funny, sweet and driven. He is laughing and smiling basically all the time.

He is back to the man I fell in love with. 

He is happy.

There's Still A Lot Of Kind To Find

On Tuesday, I stopped by Target on my way home and while I strolling through the aisles, I over heard a conversation between a mother and her daughter. The girl was in her early teens I would guess, and she was telling her mom about a girl at school who was bullying her. I watched her face twist, trying to fight tears, as she explained that the girl called her names like idiot, bitch, fat and stupid in front of her classmates. She looked down at her feet when she said the words "Why is she so mean to me?"

I held my breath, as I pretended to look at items I'd never buy, waiting for loving words of support from her mother.

But her mother was too busy dealing with her three younger children and simply said "Girls are mean."

Girls are mean. THAT'S IT?! Those were the only consoling words this mother could muster?! Has it gotten so bad that we are simply okay with brushing off such bullying as "kids are mean"?! As if that justifies it somehow?!

For a moment, I let my shock show and my cover was blown as the girl glanced at me, embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run over and wrap that poor girl in my arms...but this mom didn't seem like the type who would take that very well, so instead I mouthed "I'm sorry" to the girl as they left the aisle.

And then I was the one twisting my face, trying to fight tears.

After close to a dozen screenings of Finding Kind in our local schools, and after the countless hours my DWC sisters and I have put in...my heart was absolutely breaking when it sank in that there were so many girls who hadn't heard the message of kindness yet. As I write this post, I feel so much regret. I should have run after them. I should have asked her what school she went to so we could have approached them about a screening.

But I didn't.

The only thing I can do now, is turn that regret into motivation. We have our next screening on Monday the 25th, and I will approach it with a fire that hasn't burned this intensely since the beginning of our Finding Kind journey a year and a half ago. Because apparently, there's still a lot of kind to find. 

Photo Dump

Ryan & I, enjoying having weekends together again!

Frankie, Brittany & I saw The Punch Brothers in January. They definitely did not disappoint.

Chloe snuggling with her Pooh Bear

Cooper striking a pose

 

Frankie, Jacob and Ryan at Jacob's going away party

The two of us on Ryan's birthday last week

Brittany & I at the Imagine Dragons concert

Imagine Dragons are currently my favorite band, and with good reason. I didn't think I could possibly love them anymore, until I saw them live.

Until next time!

Survey Saturday

I'm having one of those weird inner conflicts where I really WANT to blog, but I've been at a total loss for topics. So I decided, just to break the silence, I'd do this little "Saturday 9" survey I saw on my internet-friend Bex's blog.

1) Has anyone ever told you that you resemble a celebrity? When I was MUCH younger and MUCH thinner, people would tell me I looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Back then (the 90's) that was, like, the ultimate compliment.

Yes, that's a Medieval Times crown. It was our 8th grade trip so, back off. ;)

  

2) Is there an actress or actor whose movies you make it a point to see? Hmmm...when I was younger, it was Julia Roberts and Leonardo DiCaprio. But today, the first person to come to mind was Tom Hardy! I think he is so incredibly talented and has been in such a wide variety of movies lately. And he isn't hard on the eyes either. Plus he raps. With his baby.

3) We're stopping for refreshments before we go in to see the movie. What's your refreshment stand order? If I'm splurging, Dr. Pepper, popcorn and Reece's Pieces. I mean, what's a movie without ODing on salt and sugar? 

4) When did you last consume an alcoholic beverage? What was it? I don't drink much these days. I think it was my favorite wine on New Year's Eve. My answer 5 years ago would have been drastically different... ;)

5) Are you jumpy? Do you startle easily? Um, YES. I am incredibly jumpy and I startle ridiculously easy. It's a little insane, actually.

6) Do you wear a watch? Every day! Well, 98% of the time at least. I actually really love watches.

7) When was the last time you tried a new restaurant? I...don't know. Haha! I don't branch out very often, which is part of my motivation for #25 on my 30x30 list!

8) What color is your wallet? It's turquoisey blue and several shades of browns. And it's not like a solid color. It's got several different prints in that color scheme that are patch-worked together.

9) How much does it have in coins right now? I don't care for the way that question is worded. But I digress. None. No coins at all. We have a counter-roller-thingie so my change goes directly into that. 

Happy Saturday and thank you for indulging the survey-loving-16-year-old that still lives inside of me! 

30 by 30

Today is my half birthday. This isn't something I generally celebrate, or even notice, except when its the half birthday preceding a BIG birthday.

Six months from today, I will be turning...THIRTY.

3-0.

Insert panicky face.

I haven't decided how to feel about it. People keep telling me that their 30's are/were the best years of their lives. And my ever growing "skunk stripe" makes me aware, daily, that I am growing older. But I don't FEEL like I am six short months away from kissing my 20's good-bye.

The day is coming nonetheless, so instead of avoiding it, I'm preparing for it. I've decided to construct a list (cause you all know I LOVE LISTS) of things I'd like to do before I cross over into the next decade of my life. I'm not promising I will be able to cross off every single item. But I'm sure going to try.

THIRTY things to do before turning THIRTY:

1. Start a bucket list. (Check!)
2. Start making concrete plans for future things that I can't talk about right now. (I know, I'm terrible.)
3. Chase a storm.
4. Visit JFK Memorial Plaza (Yes, I've lived in Texas my entire life and I've never done this...so clearly it needs to happen before I'm 30, right?!)
5. Learn more about wine. Besides "it tastes good".
6. Weigh less on my 30th birthday than I did on my 29th.
7. Learn a new skill.
8. Go to one concert a month. (Well on my way - I have January, February and June in the bag.)
9. Record music with Ryan.
10. Create a coffee table book with photos I've taken in Instagram.
11. Do one Pinterest craft a month.
12. Read three books.
13. Take a yoga class.
14. Step out of my fashion comfort zone.
15. Take a completely spontaneous day/weekend trip.
16. Learn how to grow something edible.
17. Donate to 3 organizations I love. (One for each decade of my life!)
18. Conquer something difficult in the kitchen - like souffle or crepes.
19. Put an unnatural color in my hair.
20. Say "YES" to everything for an entire day.
21. Learn how to fold a fitted sheet.
22. Ask my parents for each of their 5 favorite movies. Watch all 10.
23. Buy a record that came out the year I was born.
24. Give up sodas for an entire month. (Diet too!)
25. Spend more time exploring Denton. (I go to the same handful of places all the time.)
26. Try two new recipes a month.
27. Once a week (or so?), write a different friend to tell them how I truly feel about them.
28. Get a tattoo.    Maybe.
29. Participate in 5 truly random acts of kindness.
30. Make a list of everything (EVERYTHING) I want to accomplish in my life.

I'll post updates monthly on what I've knocked off my list. What's on YOUR list?

Cheesy Bacon Pull-Apart Breakfast Casserole

I am a lover of all things breakfast related. I could eat breakfasty foods any time of day, and have been known to do just that. We have a life-long tradition in my family of ordering a Christmas tree shaped coffee cake from one of the oldest/best bakeries in Dallas (Stein's) but my darling husband isn't a big fan of anything with "cake" in name. (Unless said word is preceded by "cheese".) So, I have started making a more savory dish to go along with the coffee cake. And in keeping with the whole must-try-new-things phase I'm in, I opted for dish I'd never made but had spent some time drooling over on Pinterest.

I give you...Cheesy Bacon Pull-Apart Breakfast Casserole.

Here's what you need: 

1  egg 

2 tbsp milk 

1 can Pillsbury Grands Biscuits 

1 pkg. bacon, cooked and chopped 

3/4 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 

1/4  cup green onions, finely chopped

Heat the oven to 350°F. Spray 11x7 or 2-quart glass baking dish with cooking spray. (And spray it WELL.) 
In large bowl, whisk egg and milk until smooth. (I added some black pepper into this mixture.)
Separate the dough into 8 biscuits; cut each into quarters. 
Gently stir the biscuit pieces into the egg mixture to coat evenly. 
Fold in bacon, cheese and onions. 
Spoon the mixture into your sprayed dish; arrange the biscuit pieces in single layer. (See below.)

Then, bake at 350°F for about 25 minutes or until golden brown.

I couldn't have been happier with how this dish turned out. It was unequivocally comfort food. This one may have to make an appearance more often than just Christmas...

Enjoy!

The Only Cheeseball I'll Ever Make

Oh HEY! Remember me? I'm the girl who used to blog around here! I was in a blogging rut, friends. Remember how I said I was going to post some recipes? I didn't even have the inspiration to blog about a darn cheeseball. But, guess what? I do now!! ;)

One of our family traditions is to have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve and then munch of leftovers and finger foods on Christmas Day. This year, I wanted to make some new things. Break the mold a little. Well, that worked out great this year - but may never work again because this cheeseball was SO GOOD (and SO EASY) that it may become a staple! I sort of took parts of a cheeseball I'd seen online and added my own twists. (Like bacon.)

YUM! 

Here's the breakdown:

1 8oz package of cream cheese, brought to room temp (or close)
1/2 lb of shredded cheddar cheese
1 tbsp sour cream
1/2 a Ranch dressing mix packet (you can use a whole packet if you want...but I just wanted a subtle ranch flavor)
2 tbsp green onion, chopped
1/2 package of bacon, cooked and crumbled
Crackers, chips, whatever you want to serve this with

Mix sour cream and ranch packet together. (I did all of the mixing in my stand mixer.) Once that is fully mixed, add the cream cheese and cheddar and mix until fully incorporated. Then add in the green onion.
Cover your mixing bowl and pop it in the fridge for about 5 minutes. (Long enough to cool it without hardening it.)
After 5 minutes, empty the mixture onto plastic wrap and use the plastic wrap to roll/form it into a ball.
Spread the bacon bits on a cutting board and roll the ball o' cheese until its completely covered and serve! 

*Now, here is the best part. I made this on Christmas Eve to eat on Christmas Day, so I popped it back into the fridge in the plastic wrap. I had also cooked and crumbled the bacon the day before, so it was in a tupperware waiting for me, too. When everyone was ready to snack, I just pulled it out of the fridge, rolled it in bacon and BOOM - ready to devour.

I also want to add (for my non-bacon eating friends) that you can roll this in whatever the heck you want. Jalapenos, cracker crumbs, traditional chopped pecans, etc. But for me and my house? Bacon. Rules. All.

Enjoy!